Over 7 years ago I fell in love with a Rock-God, a bassist in a heavy metal band that had just finished touring the East Coast all the way into Ohio and back again, before deciding to call it quits (right when an offer to get signed came in, no less). He was 19, I was 16, and I was smitten. From the moment I saw his picture on Myspace, I knew that was (and still is) the hottest man alive. Sultry blue eyes, hidden by locks of black-tipped rocker hair…and those pouty lips? I mean I was a goner from the start. Our friendship started then. I was totally his groupie and he became my best friend. I told him things I had never told anyone. The guy was like a siren with a guitar, or bass, or pianos, or drums–whatever he happened to pick up that day. The thing was he had NO clue.
No, clue how every single time I heard his deep voice, or his laugh that a smile plastered across my face. No, clue that every time he told me he loved me like a sister I wanted to find the closest sharp object and jab myself with it (hey, I was a hormonal teen. Total overreaction, I know!). No, clue that with every single day I fell deeper and deeper in love with him. No, clue that while I sat there battling with my boyfriend, all I wanted to do was escape into his arms.
Then one day I’d had enough. I wanted him, whether or not he wanted me. I told my co-worker I was willing to wait, years if I had to for him to figure it out. I told him I wanted to learn guitar, so he gave me his. I managed to put bandages on every single one of my fingers before I was done, but every time I held that guitar, all the pain went away. I wasn’t sick anymore, I wasn’t dumb anymore, I wasn’t bruised anymore. I was the person he saw. I was me.
Jeff: I need to tell you something
Cassie: What’s up?
Jeff: I love you.
Cassie: I know, I love you, too.
Jeff: No, you don’t understand. I love you. :*
I about died as I fell on the floor laughing. My mom thought I’d gone nuts until she read the screen, then promptly looked down at me still on the floor and said:
“I told you so.”
That was just the beginning, and there’s no end, because everyday I get to wake up next to my own personal Rock-God, and thank the God above for everything he gave me–gives me each day I wake up next to Jeff. I love him more each day–I never thought it would be possible to love anyone that much. He’s a part of my soul–he’s a part of my deepest darkness, and my deepest happiness. He saved me, and I saved him. Today is his birthday, and I want him to know that every memory I have that he’s in, no matter how badly some things I want to forget, he’s the light.
Rock-God of mine, I’ll always be your groupie.