Seeing the world differently…

I realized at a relatively young age that I didn’t see the world the way that everyone else did. There were so many things that went on in my head with one singular action. I never had anyone tell me I saw the world differently. I just always felt that way from the way my eyes saw things all the way to the way I felt things. I still feel that way today. As a child I wrote a lot–all the time. When I was seven I was published for the first time and then when I hit my teens I hit the road blocks some teens hit. I wouldn’t say all of them hit the particular ones I hit. I really hope they don’t because it wasn’t fun. They weren’t the typical ones like drugs and alcohol, even to this day I’ve never been “loaded” aka drunk out of my mind, honestly I haven’t even really been buzzed. I hit the blocks where you lose a part of who you are. What I lost? I stopped writing. You’re probably wondering why I am telling you this; it has something to do with rejection. Last Monday I told you how it inspires me, but it didn’t always. It didn’t even come from people who matter, but I still believed what they told me. I still threw away my pen and kept the way I saw things jammed inside my head. It practically drove me insane. I had to find another way to deal with the way I saw things. So I found a camera, and started taking pictures–of everything. I started experimenting with lighting–natural lighting. I, to this day, haven’t used any artificial lighting in my photographs–even portraits. I just find the sun and use it. I love photography because it enabled me to vent what I was seeing without saying anything. It allowed me to sit in the splendor of the world and just bask in it, even when I felt that the darkness could consume me.

Photography is seeing the world without the need for words.

I could sit in my silence and not be disturbed. I could bask in it without feeling completely alone–I could be me without the nasty interpretations. The thing about photography was that I didn’t doubt myself in it. I just took the camera and started taking pictures–crap cameras to boot. I refused to use photo-shop. I wanted my photographs to speak for myself when I couldn’t. That’s what I did–and it helped me to get back to the place I was supposed to be–to the writer I was supposed to be. Finally, when I told someone to take my camera and try to take the picture I did because they thought it was so easy and they couldn’t even come close, I realized that what they had been saying was wrong. I was a photographer and they hated it. They had hated my writing, too. I realized it then that they had just been trying to take me down and well, I had let them.  I still let them until a year after I graduated high school–when my husband told me to flat out write something. He said something to the tune of, “You don’t like that book? Why don’t you write one that you will. You used to write and you were good at it.”

The thing about my husband was when I met him he saw everything differently, too. He saw it as musical notes and lyrics. The way we see things changes as we get older, now he sees things as cars and helicopter tricks (you should see him fly these things–he’s insane with them). The way I saw things changed as well because I got back to actually being able to see them. Then I gained the confidence to let you see them too–in both my writing and my photography. It all comes down to this:

Sometimes we need to be our own muses.

Without further ado, here are some of my photographs. No photo-shop (minus my company name).

DSCN3782DSCN4121DSCN4182DSCN4185DSCN4188DSCN4210DSCN4225

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18 thoughts on “Seeing the world differently…

  1. Sometimes I wonder if I see the world the way other people do. It sucks that you had to go through a time where people had nothing better to do than bring you down and make you stop doing something that was a part of you. But I am glad that, in the first place, you managed to find a different outlet, and that you also got back into writing. It’s good to hear that your husband also helped you get back to that happy place. Beautiful post, Cassie, and I’m so happy that I for one have had the honour of being able to read your work. 🙂

    • A, thanks so much for your kind words. I would never take any of it back because it made me the person who I am today–and I am quite proud of that! I just hope that other people read my novels and find that same strength that I try to make my characters have with the things that they go through!

  2. Beautiful story and pictures. Glad you found the real you and went with it! My daughter has a similar story. I think creative individuals often encounter this as they don’t follow the crowd, so to speak.

  3. Love your pictures! You are so right about photoshop…other than cropping edges, I think the beauty is in the original picture. Our garden gives us endless enjoyment and we capture the flowers in the photography as well. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Beautiful photography, Cassie. It’s funny how you and I share a common thread in our pasts where we each stopped writing for a while based on others’ opinions about our work, As I stated in my interview, life got in the way of my writing during my teenage years, but it was really myself who got in the way. I chose to only listen to the naysayers who told me I wasn’t good enough to be a writer. I think I was looking for an easy way out, an easy way because writing is not for the faint of heart, and definitely not easy for those with self-esteem issues. Once I didn’t care any more what others thought about me, the work of writing and crafting novels opened up to me again. Now, writing fulfills me and enables me to be a complete person. During the hard times, I think instead of photography I gravitated towards something completely crazy and off the wall; I would create these elaborate logic and word puzzles which I considered works of art in themselves. Each of them would take you on a journey in your mind, and you might even learn something about yourself along the way. Well, as you can see from the few puzzles I’ve posted, it is not something anyone else cares remotely about, even when I offer a cash prize! I’ve realized that, as weird as it is, this is something else that fulfills me and me alone, as photography does for you. The only difference is, your photos can be appreciated by others and even bring in income for you! What I do is something that hasn’t been popular since the Victorian era! Ha!

    • Thanks, Matt! You are correct that writing is not for the faint of heart–it takes a lot of hard work and compassion to be a true writer and hone your heart. Ah, yes your puzzles, which do their job in puzzling me! I did care–I just couldn’t figure it out!!! I disagree that puzzles aren’t intriguing to others. I see plenty of suduko and crossword puzzle books out there–none of which I can solve. I think you have a rare talent of making puzzles and solving them! I get flustered with them easily, though!

  5. Cassie
    I never did (and still don’t) see the world as others do. Oddly, I see everything as an analogy of something, which can come across as very odd to a ‘normal’. I see future paths and consequence trees (the myriad possibilities that can emerge from a single event), lines of momentum and direction in all moving objects; the macroscopic in parallel with the microscopic.
    I suppose it could be a form of scientific synesthesia…
    Keeping it hidden from ‘normals’ is a full time watching brief, but now writing has permitted me an outlet, a release valve and an ability to express my ideas and (bizarre, I know) outlook on the cosmos.
    Keep clicking – your pics are stunning!

  6. Wow! They’re so beautiful! I hardly ever see those types of flowers here in Roswell. Well besides the flower shops. Lol. I love the views and perfect parts of detail

  7. I really understand how the fear of rejection feels, and I can totally relate. Recently a friend of mine started calling me fake and saying all these false accusations about how I interact with people in my life. Before all this, she’d tease me about taking so many photos, and how I play with the contrast. She teased me constantly to the point I just stopped doing anything like that. It took an argument with her and some time away from her for months before I could get myself to even start taking photos again and actually doing what I love (playing around with PSP and Photoshop). Now I’m better at not letting that stuff get to me. Now I realize it was just her that wasn’t happy with the way things are in her life and it seemed to make her happier to bring me down in some way. I think she realized some things about herself the last time she was unsuccessful on bring me down again. Seeing your photos makes me want to get out of my comfort range in photo taking. 🙂

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